“What were you wearing?”

(“Trigger Warning” this article contains discussions of sexual violence.)  

“WHAT WERE YOU WEARING?” – A powerful, thought-provoking, exhibition in Brussells, June this year (2023), discussing this much-used question which minimalises incidents of sexual violence and implies some responsibility to the victim.

103 outfits worn by rape survivors at the time they were abused, representing 1.3 billion survivors of sexual assault worldwide, with clothes representing a strong diverse range of age, gender, culture, profession, ability, showing that this can happen to anyone. 

“What were you wearing?” – a question regularly asked following sexual violence, often used in a way that minimalises the incident and implies some responsibility to the victim. 

Victim Blaming: a term I have thought about, witnessed and challenged a lot over recent years. Through my profession, personal networks, hearing it in the local pub, comments on social media, or journalists, expressing this through ‘it’s just a joke’, ‘she’s just as bad as him’, ‘they liked it rough’ kind of phrases.

A question I frequently ask…

Why DOES it feel easier to blame the victim than to acknowledge and name a potential perpetrator? 

What part of accepting that someone may be a perpetrator feels most uncomfortable to you? …because, through my experience of supporting victims & survivors of sexual violence, it’s certainly not comfortable for them to speak out. It takes extreme courage. Yet this ‘victim blaming’ culture continues to be normalised and the easier stance for many to take. 

If we accept that someone could well be a perpetrator, what is it we are we scared of ? 

If you’re a professional, for example Police, does it mean more work to do? 

Could it mean you have to rethink someone who was your friend? – someone you thought you knew. 

Is it a public figure, celebrity, someone you looked up to? …you now feel worried as to how much you believed in them and reposted them on your social media. 

I wonder if as humans it is being uncomfortable with change. Uncomfortable to stand with the minority?

“The World Health Organization estimates that 35% of all women worldwide have survived sexual violence”. 

In the UK out of 68,109 rapes recorded by Police in a 12-month period June 22- July 23, only 2.2% became charges, being only 1,498,  (Rape Crisis, 2023). 

So, approx. 2 out of 100 cases in the UK result in someone being charged. This emphasises just how difficult it is for victims to prove their truth. 

I also came across this picture on social media recently. I feel it visually represents these findings well: 

I want to reiterate that Sexual Violence is a crime. A crime to be reported, victims supported, and listened to. 

If you experience sexual violence, for immediate treatment and support please access your local Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC). 

As an adult victim / survivor, you don’t have to report to the police if you don’t want to, this could take time for you to consider, however getting medical support as soon as possible can help with relevant checks and gaining evidence, if you wish to use later for investigations. 

Further info can be found at ; https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/help-after-rape-and-sexual-assault/

Other local services should also be available to you, even if the incident was historical. Access your local Rape & Sexual Violence Organisation, your GP, counselling & other therapeutic support. 

Please contact Children’s Services for incidences to a minor, and contact Police with immediate effect. 

These are tough and sensitive discussions, but unfortunately a lot of people’s reality. 

Thank you for reading this. 

Libby x